i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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