She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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