just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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