But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
