so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
