I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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