Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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