Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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