So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
