All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
