i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
