before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize