i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
