So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
