Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
