So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
