I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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