sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
it glows. i had to have it.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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