fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
