Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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