I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
