fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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