Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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