I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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