My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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