The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist