sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You blew him?!?!
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......