There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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