Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
The ass gains better be worth it
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