Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
