i already hear my dad disowning me
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
