I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
