this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
me + whiskey = a bad person
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
