I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came on her dog
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize