I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
How's work?
Spinning.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
