paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
