i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
