Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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