I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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