butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
