haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
