Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
