You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
