He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She told me I should be a condom model.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
