Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
