sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
