Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
how does that bad decision feel?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
