it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
