I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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