i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
