What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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