and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
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Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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