Can Purell be used as lube?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
