what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
