My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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