Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
