I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
