he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
