I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
