the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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