We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize