How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
