Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
