He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
