if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
