It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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