i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
